by Doug Giles
You know who hated the Baltimore riots this past week more
than anyone else? Bruce Jenner, that’s who. I guarantee he was ticked
after all the orchestrated Diane Sawyer hullabaloo of how he loves to
strut around in Donna Karan evening wearon Friday nights with just his
“close friends” got drowned out by Baltimore snappin’, cracklin’ and
poppin’.
Yep, Jenner was so ticked I heard he had to have an
emergency mani-pedi spa day and a little Lane Bryant retail therapy just
to chillax. Which is completely normal according to they and them, so
don’t laugh and definitely don’t judge.
By the way, and y’all help me with my troglodytic
ignorance, why would a handsome man want to look like an ugly, big
shouldered, strudel-Hun, huh? We may never truly know. I guess we can
add that ditty to the other mysteries of the universe. Any way … back
to last week’s riots.
As much as the riots probably made Jenner a Sad Sack for
selfish, tyranny-business reasons, I bet the riots also made Hillary one
happy, serial, BS-artist.
Think about it: Just as the NYT, SNL and CNN were hot on
her slim shady slime trail of corrupt cash, lawyer tricks, email BS and
weapons grade Hildebeest Tomfoolery, BOOM … Baltimore is burnin’!
Hallelujah! Salvation! I bet that old, corrupt Jezebel was so happy she
cooked up two batches of witch’s brew in celebration of the mayhem the
thugs wrought last week in the Orioles’ home town.
Uh, oh. My bad. I forgot that after this past week we
may no longer refer to destructive, looting and pillaging blacks as
“thugs” because “thugs”, according to the Speech Nazis, is a now verboten.
Indeed, starting right now, in keeping with The Leftists’ New Rules,
the term “thug” is the equivalent of the “N-word” and thus, anyone who
floats that word must be “a racist”. Which is weird because I, Whitey
Whitebread, have used thug to describe white trash who trash crap just
for the helluva it.
Being both confused and inquisitive, I googled up the word
“thug” to see if it had diddly to do with the gnarly N-word. What I
found was that thug owes it’s origin to early 19th century India were
gangs of idiots murdered, robbed and strangled their Indian victims.
The word then got adopted by us Yankees and broadened to describe
low-lifers who were stupid, violent and consistent violators of the law,
which means, low-and-behold, it has nada to
do with the N-bomb or blacks. That said, we should not pay attention to
the etymology of the word because, you see, the Leftists are gods and
we must bow and kiss their ring.
Therefore, in the spirit of politically correct yumminess,
and in complete capitulation to the speech-neutering, Orwellian
thought-police, here are some replacement words for the now banned term
when it relates to black thugs … I mean … confused and spiritually
wounded African-American youths.
Instead of calling blacks who senselessly destroy and loot their own neighborhood, thugs, what about calling them…
1. Puppy dogs? Why puppy dogs? Well, puppy dogs mean
well, but we all know they do mess things up significantly — but they’re
puppy dogs and don’t know better so … we can’t be angry at them.
2. Change facilitators? Change facilitators is also a
more palatable term when describing rioters. No one would argue that
certain things must change, eh? Now, granted, normal people wouldn’t
call stealing Slim-Jims, Charm’s Blow-Pops, rolls of toilet paper, a
case of Mad Dog 20/20 or ramming stolen cars through roadblocks change
per se, but then again who are we to say a civil approach is the best
way to get things done?
3. Canadians? That’s not a bad idea, eh? I mean, come
on, no one likes Canadians so … let’s brand the violent rampagers with
that moniker.
Ah, man. Who am I kidding? As much as I try I can’t look
at the crap that occurred last week in Baltimore and call the
perpetrators thereof any other thing but thugs. If it were white punks
who were doing that junk I’d call them thugs, among other things. So,
to the speech police who want us to leap verbal hurdles and not lambaste
the out-of-control swines’ bellicose behavior, all I’ve got to say to
you is … thug, thug, thug, thug, thug, thug, thug, thug.
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