Coach Obama And The ISIS Varsity

by Ben Crystal 
As I’m writing this, President Barack Obama has just wrapped up a prime-time address to us, his loyal subjects. The topic of his latest proclamation: the islamofascist brushfire in the Mideast that Obama’s bumbling fanned into a five-alarm inferno. What was once a civil war between the forces of Syrian President Bashar Assad and rebel opponents has now metastasized into a regional nightmare. And while Obama once dismissed the Islamic State (aka ISIS or ISIL) as terrorism’s “junior varsity,” apparently, the terror team has been called up to the big show.
In his address, Obama outlined a four-point program to arm and train “forces fighting these terrorists on the ground.” Presumably, those “forces” would then use their newly acquired weapons and training to destroy ISIS and then what? Join hands and sing “Kumbaya?” You’ll pardon me for asking, but I have a few questions I think deserve more than the usual White House fade, especially in light of the fact that Obama’s newest attempt at meaningful foreign policy is — by his own admission — more open-ended than an Internal Revenue Service audit.

Obama accomplices like Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid have been providing cover for Obama’s latest misadventure by referring to “moderates” in Syria and Iraq. Who are these “moderates,” and where were they when Obama’s plan for pacifying a restive Mideast involved arming ISIS against Syrian President Bashar Assad? Are we now supposed to accept that not only do such people exist, but that they have earned such largesse? Are we supposed to forget that ISIS used to be the very “moderates” we supported? Are we further supposed to forget that Obama’s policy regarding the very real threat of islamofascism has gone from “arming islamofascists to fight against other islamofascists” to “arming islamofascists to fight against the islamofascists we armed to fight against other islamofascists?” Are we even further supposed to forget that some and/or all of the people — islamofascist or “moderate” — have spilled from Syria into Iraq to fill a vacuum Obama created? And are we even further supposed to forget that the current crop of islamofascists hail not only from the Mideast, but from such exotic locales as London, Paris and Minneapolis? For that matter, has it occurred to anyone within earshot of the president that giving money and materiel to everyone who writes “moderate” on his nametag has led to nothing but heartbreak so far?

Taking to the teleprompter, Obama provided answers to precisely none of those questions. But he did declare ISIS to be a “terrorist group” requiring us “to degrade and ultimately destroy” them. That’s a far cry from “junior varsity,” a long bellow from “we don’t have a strategy” and a big shout from “manageable problem.” Keep in mind that the previous sentence reflects only the past few weeks of Obama’s eternal evolution on the appropriate response to islamofascism. Throw in “the future does not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam,” the Iranian crackdown, the “Arab Spring” (for which Obama was entirely unprepared) and a few murders committed in the name of a phantom YouTube video, and the lack of both coherence and competence emerges.

We’ve gone from 9/11 attacks to attacks on 9/11. We’ve gone from fighting islamofascist murderers in the Mideast to fighting islamofascist murderers in the Mideast. We’ve seen Libya transform from a terrorist haven into a haven for terrorists, albeit terrorists who now use our embassy as a health club. We’ve even managed to regress to operations in Somalia and Yemen, because we’re retro like that. But there is something new under the sun. As we paused to mark the 13^th anniversary of the original 9/11 attacks, we were confronted not only by the spreading fungus of islamofascism in the Mideast but by the realization that the infection appears to have spread to our shores. Moreover, even Obama’s own national security apparatchiks are now acknowledging the presence of ISIS vermin within a short swim of our own southern frontier. Given Obama’s avowed plan to let through every thug, gangster and reprobate through with the promise of free lifetime care and feeding, it’s hardly a stretch to think a few Abduls and Zameers might have snuck through amidst the Tomases, Ricardos and Joses.

Since Obama took home the Nobel Peace Prize for promising to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, the world has plunged into outright caterwauling. Russia dug its old Soviet uniforms out of the gulag; China has extended its airspace to include everything west of Obama’s vacation rental on Hawaii; North Korea is developing long distance delivery systems for Kim Jong Krazy; and even our pals in Europe are starting to look at us funny. Of course, they’ve got problems of their own. From the Norwegian capital of Oslo to Madrid and from Paris to Istanbul, islamofascism is whirling like the proverbial dervishes. The most common name for newborns in England is Mohammed, as if our best pals needed another reminder of how much fun the “religion of pieces” can be. And here at home, a growth Obama considered beneath his notice has rocketed past his “manageable problem” to “we should schedule a biopsy.” As Obama acknowledged, “[T]hese terrorists could pose a growing threat beyond that region — including to the United States.”
I suppose it’s laudable of Obama to actually show up for work, much less offer a strategy. But as he wrapped up his meandering attempt to convince the world that he’s super serious this time, I couldn’t help but think two things: “Welcome to the varsity, ISIS” and “Man, I could have watched ‘World War Z’ on Netflix.”