Watch: Kim’s Elite Troops Not So Tough After Getting New Soundtrack

by:Martin Lioll 

If Kim Jong Un weren’t firing off missiles as if rocket-powered projectiles were going out of style, both he and his North Korean military would actually be quite the farcical sight. After all, what could be more funny than a rotund, sybaritic child dictator who apparently uses the same tailor as Benny Hinn, along with his starving, goose-stepping army? If it weren’t for the constant threats, it would actually be quite funny.
We’re not the only ones who’ve noticed the comic aspects of Pyongyang. Even John McCain got in on it, calling Kim a “crazy fat kid” during an appearance on MSNBC. And now, some of the fine people of the internet have gotten in on it.
In a video posted to YouTube in May, the a video showcased some of Kim’s high-stepping elite troops parading through the streets of
North Korea’s low-rent version of PanemPyongyang. The author made one slight change to the footage, however: they soundtracked it with the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive.”

And yes, it’s every bit as glorious as you might imagine. Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a brutal dictator in the Juche mold, you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive:
Now, as we know, North Korean leaders are known for their incredible feats of reality-bending skill. For instance, we’ve all heard that Kim Jong Il shot a 38-under-par round of golf with 11 holes in one. Kim Jong Un is no different, and that extends to the lyrics to “Stayin’ Alive.”

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For instance, we all know that the brothers Gibb are ladies’ men with no time to talk. However, Kim Jong Un is such a ladies’ man that he actually has negative time to talk. His abilities as a womanizer are so amazing that he actually goes back in time. 

However, much like the ginseng-based drug that Kim Jong Un’s regime claims to have developed which cures HIV/AIDS, cancer and ebola, such a time-bending effect is only available in North Korea. More’s the pity.
Also in “Stayin’ Alive,” the Gibbs say that they get low and they get high. Kim, on the other hand, only gets high. That probably has something to do with the two bottles of Cristal champagne he reportedly consumes at his meals.
Don’t worry, though, fair goose-stepping denizens of the DPRK armed forces: if money for the bubbly runs low, he can always cut back on your rations. He’ll never go hungry. As for yourselves, have fun, uh, stayin’ alive.
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