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Monday, August 24, 2015

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS FOR HUNTERS: Dealing With Anti-Hunting, Doe-Eyed, Tree-Humpers

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by Doug Giles
Pretty much everything that used to be a given thirty years ago is now seen as cuckoo and/or evil in the United States of WTF.
For instance:
If you believe that a proper marriage is between a man and a woman then according to the “Nuevo Thought Police of The New Millennium” you’re a demonic bigot who wants to kill Neil Patrick Harris and hates flight attendants.
Also, if you believe that an able bodied adult should invest in an alarm clock, get off their butt and earn their own cash, and that the government owes us jack squat, then according to the Liberal fascists “you’re a capitalistic heartless/soulless pig who loathes the down trodden.“

In addition, if you believe that no matter how much Ryan $eacrest wants you to call Bruce Jenner “Caitlyn” and pretend he’s a she, Bruce will always and forever be … Bruce, well then, according to Matt Lauer, “you’re a hater.” Further, if you inwardly snicker when you behold Bruce on TV lurchin’ around in his size 14 stilettos while he blows the back seam out of one of Kris’ old mini-skirts, then according Gaystapo you’re a “’transgenderphobe who’s unsympathetic with the plight and penchants of the sexually confused.” By the way, for the record, I predict after Seacrest and Jenner milk this facade for two years then Jenner will have an “epiphany”; and go back to being Bruce. You heard it here first.
And finally, if you believe that hunting and providing for yourself and others high protein, low fat, yumminess; and you’re ok with being hands on via hunting with your conservation of land and animals, then according to the Daily Mail you’re a “poaching, murderous mook who’s culpable for the mass eradication of lions and elephants all because you sport a small male appendage.” Or something to that effect.

Sadly, this is our reality here in the United States of Whiners. As Phil Collins said, “’This is the world we live in.”  And as Satan says, “Welcome to Hell.”   Who’d have ever thought that any of the aforementioned would be frowned upon in the Land Of The Free?
So … how do we, the hunters, traverse this tricky milieu of political correctness that has been foisted upon us who hunt this 3rd rock from the sun?
Herewith are My 10 Commandments for Dealing With Anti-Hunting, Doe-Eyed, Tree-Humpers. Check it out:

1.  Be Bold. The Left loves to play the shame game, especially on Facebook.  However, as a hunter, you cannot cave to these clowns when they try to cow you into complicity or shame because you put the bam to Bambi.  Matter of fact, next time some hipster doofus asks you with that tsk-tsk tone of shock and derision, as he wears leather and eats store bought poisoned meat, “Are you a hunter?”, say, “Yeah, Tinkerpot, I am. What are you?”  Now, I wouldn’t go looking for trouble but I certainly wouldn’t back down.  Everyone else is “proud” nowadays. Why shouldn’t you be? As a hunter/conservationist you have just cause to walk with your head held high.
2.  Get Briefed. Every hunter is an apologist for hunting and hunters and we’re either good or bad at it. Get good at it. Make it your sport and have fun informing, and if need be, decimating the anti-hunting cabal with the overwhelming intel of how good hunting is for both animals and our planet.  Some great fodder for debate is Frank Miniter’s book, The Politically Incorrect Guide To Hunting, my book Rise, Kill And Eat, The Vegetarian Myth by Lierre Keith and Game Changer by Glen Martin.
3. Feed Your Social Media Feed With Facts As Much As You Do Pics.  Great hunters like Simon Barr, Craig Boddington, Larry Weishuhn, Ivan Carter, Shaun Keeny, Dave Fulson and Tom and Olivia Opre have done a fantastic job of Facebooking great memes that succinctly underscore the profound mutli-facteted perks hunting brings to this game of life.
4. Obey The Law (Duh). Never, and I mean never, hunt illegally. When in doubt… don’t.
5. Don’t Chest Thump Over a Kill On Video. If you have a hunting show on TV or if you upload your hunting videos to YouTube, don’t be an idiot and pound your chest over an animal’s life you’ve taken. It’s tacky and that animal you took deserves your respect.
6. Don’t Take Insulting Pics Of Your Animal. Please… for the love of God, don’t stand on your animal or take selfies with your animal or otherwise disparage it and feed the rage of the anti-hunters and then claim you’re being “unjustly persecuted”.
7. Donate Meat. If your freezer is full then give away meat to charities and show that on social media as well.
8. Donate Money. If you’re an outfitter then make sure you give money to charities and continue to spread the hunter’s good name by doing good deeds with the proceeds garnered via big game hunting.
9. Defend Other Hunters. Any time an ethical hunter is slammed by the ubiquitous anti-hunters, then go to bat on social media and in conversations when the tree-humpers start spewing their ill-informed venom.
10. And Commandment number 10: lather-rinse-repeat commandments 1-9.

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